Cramming

I've been outta school for awhile, but every year around this time, I'm studying like I've got a final the next morning in a class I just bought the book for. Unfortunately, this has much more dire consequences: I'm getting ready for my annual fantasy football draft.

It's non-stop fun scurrying around the internet trying read every little news update on players who I had no idea existed. By the time I make it to the draft and pound the traditional beer and partake of other, uh, party favors, all of the knowledge I've accumulated by then is gone.

I consider my draft a success if I:

1. Have all of my starting positions filled. Nothing says "bad draft" like getting to the last round and realizing you're missing a starting WR.

2. None of my fellow owners have heckled any of my picks too badly. Bonus points if I get to heckle others.

3. I am completely faded and ready for the traditional after-draft poker game.

Number 3 is a given, so wish me luck in getting points 1 and 2 taken care of.

RIP, Gene Upshaw

In recent years, Gene Upshaw has been known as the head of the NFL players union. For me and the rest of the Raider Nation, he'll always be remembered as one of the leaders of those legendary Raider teams of the 70s.

He's not seen in the video below, but his spirit is well represented. The work he did after his playing career for all players, Raider and non-Raider, is proof of his ongoing Committment to Excellence.

Poker 101

In no-limit hold 'em, you must be able to put your opponent on a hand. It's not enough to just play your hand: figuring out what hands he/she plays and how they play them is one way to win consistently.

When your opponent enters a pot, are they raising with a big pair (AA, KK)? Are they limping in (i.e., calling) with suited connectors (e.g., 9 of hearts and 8 of hearts)? Are they smooth-calling (i.e., calling another player's raise) with garbage (e.g., 8 of spades and 4 of diamonds) in hopes of outplaying you after the flop?

Using your opponents' "tells" (body language, betting patterns, conversation, etc), you should be able to put him/her on a range of hands. If you go to the flop, then you'll be able to narrow that range down a bit. Poker is a game of incomplete information and in hold 'em, each card that's shown will help you make decisions as the hand progesses.

Scroll down below for a screen capture from one of the dozens of poker shows saturating TV these days. Professional Mike Matusow thinks he has the best hand, but it's pretty obvious that his opponent has a Big Pair. The correct play is to fold.

Ba-dum-dum. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

Freeroll

I've finally recovered after the Lakers loss in the finals a coupla weeks ago. Honestly, I wasn't as bummed as I should've been. Sure, it sucks losing to the hated Celtics, but if you would've told me at the start of the season the Lakers would be two games away from winning the championship, I would've called you an idiot. And I would've used most, if not all, of Mr. Carlin's seven words in doing so (RIP, George. I always loved your work, especially your breakdown of football and baseball).

The Lakers amazing playoff run was what poker players call a freeroll. This is when you can't lose a hand -- it's a tie, but you still have a shot to win. This normally happens in hold em when you and your opponent have the same starting hand (for example, Ace-King), but the board has flush cards and they match your hand. You both have ace high, but now you're freerolling because you can win by hitting the flush. In other words, you can't lose. Got it?

The Lakers were freerolling this postseason. Seriously, after Kobe asking to be traded and Buss confirming that they were shopping Kobe, anything other than a trade or an early playoff exit was a win for us Laker fans. But to go all the way to the finals without our best big man in Bynum? That's a freeroll, my friends. Yes, the Lakers lost, but after the offseason and early season turmoil, this team is ready to begin yet another dynasty for the Greatest Franchise in All Sports. Boston was lucky to win their title this year cuz now they're gonna go another 20 years until they show up in the finals again (unless Kevin McHale stays in Minnesota for another 20 years and "trades" his best player to the Celtics again).

Thanks to all of my friends who emailed/texted/called with their condolences. You like me, you really like me! And major props to the lady who cheered me up by sending a photo of her cleavage. That helped me forget about the Lakers loss for two minutes ... although it might've been three.

Another thing that helped me get over this season: The Girls of Stare. This is the Greatest. Show. Ever. I'm going out on a limb here, but I think this will sweep the Emmys (preview below).

GO LAKERS!!!

You Are the Government

Been reading a buncha stuff on the upcoming election and instead of boring you with my take, check out this video someone made for an old Bad Religion tune.

I dig this song, but it's too damn short! So punk rock.